Cancer and our Family
Of the 4 people in this picture:
2 have been diagnosed with and treated for cancer (Mari and Joli)
1 has pre-cancerous cells and is having a double mastectomy (Grace)
and I am at a very high risk of developing it within the next few years

My sister Grace
It's two weeks until Grace's surgery, and I can't help but feel both sad and proud of her at the same time. For those of you who don't know Grace personally, you certainly know her through this blog. Other than Jorge and me, Grace has been the most stable and constant force in Joli's life. Joli is a free spirit because of Grace. She is creative because of Grace. She is aware of feelings, emotions, love, joy, pain, and sheer freedom because of Grace. Why? Because Grace models the purest form of love I have ever seen. No matter who you are, Grace is your friend. No matter who you are, Grace is your biggest cheerleader. No matter who you are, Grace loves you.

Grace and I didn't grow up the best of friends. In fact, my memories of Grace are of me being horribly mean to her. After every mean thing I would do as a little sister, Grace would leave me a note on my bed or go so far as to drive her 16-year old self to a card store and buy me a card that says, "I know you hate me. But, I'm your sister and I love you." I still have that card somewhere.

When I had Joli and went through a tough transition time, Grace received the brunt of my exhaustion. And, yet, she still loved me and Joli more than I could ever imagine. On days when I couldn't take another trip to the hospital, Grace would stay by Joli's bedside so that I could have a break. Aside from Jorge and me, Grace was the ONLY one who went to the hospital each and every time Joli did. In fact, when Joli had her surgery, Grace was the only one who thought to bring food to help us stay nourished during the 15 hour ordeal. And, she not only brought "food", she bought the most gourmet treats we could ever have imagined!

I would actually argue that Grace has, at times, spent more time with Joli than I have. Prior to this year, Grace brought Joli to weekly music lessons, weekends at the Children's Museum, and lots of explorations to places I never would have gone - a pet sanctuary, a blueberry farm. Grace is responsible for allowing the girls to color on the walls, get soaking wet in puddles in the middle of winter, and ruined their clothing in paint. And, while I probably said things like "How could let them do that!", I should have said, "Thank you for letting them be children."

So, this is in honor of Grace -- a long over due tribute to how much I love you, how much I appreciate you, and how little I often tell you. Grace, you are a strong, brave, beautiful woman, and we are praying for your successful operation and quick recovery. I admire everything you do, everything you have done, and everything you are destined to do. I am proud to call you my sister.


Grace on Joli's 2nd birthday - just before diagnosis. Yes, she is sitting in a swimming pool fully clothed.. a typical "grace move"Grace with food on the day of Joli's surgery, Aug 2005

Grace at Joli's first chemotherapy stay, Sept 2005
Grace with Joli on the Toys R Us ferris wheel in NYC. Grace often put her life on hold and selflessly came with me for a week each year - for 2 years - so that I wouldn't be alone.

Mother's Day, 2007 - while Grace isn't a mom, she is typically found surrounded by all the nieces and nephew. It's because of her love of children that we named Jada after Grace.