Ben Underwood - keep him in your prayers

Just after Joli had finished treatment in 2006, Jorge and I were watching the Discovery Channel and came across a beautiful story about a young man named Ben Underwood. The story was about his use of echolocation to "see", as Ben was blind in both eyes. For us, the story was more about a teenager who had survived bilateral retinoblastoma and who refused to be disabled. Ben served as an inspiration to our family. His mother, Aquanetta Gordon, was also featured in the show, and I felt like I knew her. Every word that left her mouth had articulated just how I felt as a mother to an Rb survivor.

In the past weeks, Ben's cancer returned. He had been "cured" and considered cancer free for more than 10 years. Ben developed brain and spinal cord cancer. Doctors have given him only a few more weeks to live. Ben's story is here.

This is why it makes me so mad when people try and tell us to "get over" Joli having cancer. I sometimes refer to Joli as "having cancer" because we still live the life of a cancer family - going to the doctors for Joli, going for Jada, and now we'll have to start going every 3 weeks and 3 months for the new baby. For the next 2 years, even the baby in my belly will remind me that we are a cancer family.

People don't often understand the lasting impact of Joli being diagnosed. Every headache needs to be treated as if there may be pain from a tumor. Every "my bones hurt" needs to be treated as if cancer cells found their way into her bone marrow. While we do treat most of these with just regular old love, Tylenol, and rest, it never leaves my mind that "maybe this is a new cancer."

Ben's story proves it. While his mother raised him to be brave and move above his disability, his story reminds us that cancer families can never be the same as families who have never had it -- even 10 years later.

While Joli's cancer doesn't paralyze us with fear, it does make us ask ourselves questions that others never have to even entertain.

Please keep Ben Underwood and his family in your prayers - that he may have a peaceful journey to Heaven.